Your Average Teenage Girl!

I HAVE MY LIFE BACK !

No more fights, no more discipline, no more violence, no more salutes, no more WAVE.

THANK GOD.

Things were starting to get really bad guys. After publishing the newspaper I was accused of just being angry that I had been dethroned from popularity because of the new glorious equality. And those were the nice comments….

David came up to me the other day, demanding that I stop destroying the Wave. And guess who stood up to him?

ME.

And guessed who pushed me to the ground?

…him…

So that didn’t go quite according to plan, and I really don’t want to think about that. But I don’t regret it happening, because I saw the change come over David when he realized what he had done to me and how the Wave had torn us apart. It was so nice to finally have somebody to relate with about how creepy the Wave was becoming.

We told Mr. Smith this had to stop. And so did the principal. And a stop was put to it… But it was really bad.

There was an assembly after school, upon which the Wave’s true leader would be revealed. David and I got into the auditorium just as Mr. Smith flicked the TV to our all powerful leader, the one the students had been waiting to see and praise..

Silence.

Shocked silence.

Suddenly the true point of the experiment hit us all. We were basically little Nazi’s. We had all scoffed on that day of the film, saying that we would never, could never, be brainwashed like the Germans. But here we were today, looking upon the face of Adolf Hitler; looking upon what we had really turned into on the inside. Before putting my head down in shame (for I, too, had been a part of this at first) my heart stung upon looking at the dejection on Robert Billing’s face.

And that, my friends, is how the Nazis committed such atrocities. There were fights breaking out in our school, acts of physical violence, frenzied screaming of the Wave motto, salutes, banners, armbands…

All characteristics of the Nazi party.

So should I thank Mr. Smith for answering our question, or hate him for turning us all into animals?

I HATE THE WAVE. I HATE THE WAVE. I HATE THE WAVE. I HATE THE WAVE. I HATE THE WAVE. I HATE THE WAVE. I HATE THE WAVE. I HATE THE WAVE.

GO AHEAD, REPORT ME NOW ROBERT BILLINGS.

That felt good :)

But seriously, this is absolutely out of control. My boyfriend of 2 years BROKE UP WITH ME because we got into a fight. And you can guess what the fight is about, since nobody else seems to discuss anything else these days …. THE WAVE.

I’m being forced into all these things - I can’t even walk into the school bleachers without making the salute! I’m FED UP and I don’t care about my reputation anymore. My mom is right in saying that i have to be myself. Forget the Wave! Forget the stupid community! I’M DONE.

When I walked into the Grapevine newspaper office the other day, I found this anonymous article from an underclassman. It was appropriately called “Welcome to the Wave - Or Else”. It told a really sad story that showed how out of control this project really is. When confronted with Wave members, the poor anonymous person stood up for themself and declined the offer to be in the organization (GOOD MOVE BUDDY!) . So what happened to him? They beat him up. I believe that Mr. Smith’s stupid motto is just sugarcoated words that cover up this truth :

STRENGTH THROUGH VIOLENCE. STRENGTH THROUGH CONFORMITY. STRENGTH THROUGH BRAINWASHING.

On Sunday my newspaper staff and I printed a newspaper AGAINST this stupid “fad” that is turning into a way of life in Gordon High.

And trust me , I got PLENTY OF HATE for it. But I’m satisfied with myself. I’m glad I took a stand.

And PS David : I CAN DO BETTER<3

Wow, I’m surprised I haven’t lost any followers in the past few days. I’m so sorry for not being able to write often! It’s just that a lot has been going on.. a lot more than usual.

I think this “experiment” is slipping out of control…and it’s really starting to creep me out.

The Wave now has a new addition to the motto. STRENGTH THROUGH ACTION. Mr. Smith lectures us about how community and discipline are simply useless without taking action. He has handed out membership cards, and assigned certain kids to the job of monitor. Their mission is to make sure that everyone obeys the rules of the Wave. I don’t want to say anything, because everyone is so excited about our organization. But in my humble opinion, it seems almost cult-ish.

Whenever I bring this up at lunch or something, my friends get almost defensive on me. This guy Brian, who is a monitor, even threatened to report me for asking if anyone else felt weird about the whole thing. Of course people like Amy are all for it, because she’s jealous of everybody on the planet and is therefore relieved to be equal with the rest of us. The biggest change I’ve seen is in Robert, who now sits with us at lunch and practically verbally attacked me for my comments on the Wave. He said I should be reported, because what I was saying defied the idea of community. I would have given it to him right then and there, but honestly I feel bad for him. The Wave seems to give him an interest in something for once, and he’s actually trying to do good. I feel like it’s a positive thing for him, and I don’t want to be nasty and ruin that by telling him off. I was also afraid that i would be reported, so I kept my mouth shut. My mother ran into Robert’s mother, and was telling me how Mrs. Billings is super excited about the drastic changes in Robert.

 My mother, however, expressed her concern to me as usual. She’s rarely without some sort of worry or concern. Again, the lecture about being myself and not getting too caught up in this Wave business. She thinks it’s some sort of cult, and if I could stand her I would have told her that I almost agree with her… but I just told her it was a stupid fad that would go away soon. And that is actually my belief on the Wave.. at least, it’s what I want to believe.

My history class is growing as the Wave recruits more members. I just want to forget about it, I’m so tired of everybody talking about it all the time. So when my newspaper staff told me that we should do an article on it, I was really reluctant. But what better topic? Everyone would want to read a newspaper dealing with their beloved new organization. And maybe I could get some other kid’s opinions; see if anybody else felt as oddly as I do about it. It’s just creepy at this point and as my friends become more and more involved in and out of the classroom, I can only wonder..

Is it just a fad?

Hello again! I’m sorry that i didn’t write yesterday! I was busy after school trying to get my newspaper crew to pull their act together….what else is new?

I just finished eating dinner with my crazy parents. It seems like they disagree on everything these days, especially when it’s a topic that I bring up. Once they start debating their different views, I let myself drift away. I have better things to do than pay attention to their silly rantings. And I know better than to bring up something that will get them going. But tonight I felt a strange desire to bring up what has been going on in history class since we watched that film…. (strange desire = IM BORED OF YOUR GOLF STORIES, DAD)

History class will never be the same again, for Mr. Smith has turned into one of them. By them I of course mean your average, boring, disciplinary teacher. The day after we watched the Holocaust video (the one I previously blogged about that really shook me up) I walked into class to see a simple sentence on the board. STRENGTH THROUGH DISCIPLINE. A few jokes were pulled about what Mr. Smith was talking about, because he isn’t a very discipline based person. He’s just a fun guy who’s really excited about his job. Was this statement on the board a joke? We could only sit and find out. Mr. Smith began the class with a drill on how to improve our posture in his classroom. The jokes died down as some kids began to get really into it. It was only the beginning of a series of drills such as getting out of our seats and returning to them as fast as we could, in a quick and orderly fashion. And you’ll never believe this one - Robert, class slacker, takes a sort of leadership position! He is even used by Mr. Smith as an example for the class. Robert Smith an EXAMPLE?! Yea right! But he showed exemplary behavior, especially when the new rules came along. Mr. Smith wanted us to answer him in all these specific ways, and he established a few class rules. The drills hereby ended and class started, but everyone was answering Mr. Smith according to the new drills; snapping to attention, standing next to their desk, and beginning every statement with “Mr. Smith…” And here comes the embarrassing part. I was the only one who did not follow the rules exactly. I messed up. See, in Gordon, I have what we like to call a reputation. People like me, they look up to me, they all want to be friends with me. I have the boyfriend on the football team, the friends, the looks, the personality. So me messing up cannot be taken lightly. It was really bad and I ended the class in a rather angry mood, especially over the fact that Robert had done better than me in this experiment. After class, however, I discovered that the other kids had enjoyed the experiment! David seemed really into it, and apparently Robert did too because the guys saw him in the bathroom going over the drills on his own! David even talked about applying this experiment to the football team, and the guys got lost in their sports conversation. All they care about is stupid football.

And it really only gets worse from this point…

Because the experiment wasn’t over… -_-

The next day, which is today, Mr. Smith was late to class. Usually we take advantage of this by fooling around; extra free time, you know? But I walked in to find all my friends holding up the proper postures from the drills and making as if they were planning on following the experiment rules today as well! I followed suit, in order to make up for my mess-up yesterday. When Mr. Smith finally decided to grace us with his presence, he seemed a bit surprised to find us carrying on his little experiment. However, rather than dismiss it, he decided to continue it! My heart sank as he added STRENGTH THROUGH COMMUNITY to the motto of the day before. We were made to chant the new motto, and everyone did so eagerly.

Except for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t some rebel against this whole idea. I just wasn’t exactly a fan of it. Why was nobody questioning the ritualistic chanting, or the purpose behind it? Why couldn’t there be strength in the thoughts and action of the individual? Isn’t that what America was founded on? I wasn’t planning on chanting.. until the feelings of my mistake from yesterday’s class came over me. I mean, come on, you have a whole classroom of all your friends doing the same thing. And it wasn’t like chanting would finalize my feelings. It was just a stupid phrase our teacher had made up. And I didn’t want anybody to start looking at me for not taking part in this act. I unconsciously found my mouth moving, and my lips forming the words: STRENGTH THROUGH DISCIPLINE. STRENGTH THROUGH COMMUNITY. Mr. Smith soon stopped us, seeming satisfied with our progress. I was relieved, and would have nervously chewed on my pen at this point. However, it was not proper for the classroom and I restrained myself. Mr. Smith rewarded his experiment with a name - The Wave. He decided to continue it from now on, and officialized it with a symbol (which I have enclosed below this blog) and a salute. Whenever Wave members see each other, they must make this salute. However, all of it - the chanting , the salutes.. I didn’t really want to do it. I felt myself being forced, because I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t partake. And conversation after the history class resumed its new normality - praises on the Wave, how applicable it was to the football team….

My parents reacted quite differently to this when I told them at dinner tonight. My mom (worry-wart of the century) disapproved quite strongly. It was too militaristic to her liking, and she gave me the usual motherly rant on how I should not be afraid to be myself and stand up for what I think. “What’s popular isn’t always right,” she told me. Blah blah blah. Annoyed by the lecture I had heard a thousand times before, I began to defend the Wave, saying how everyone liked it so much and the guys were even using it to help their football team. My dad defended it as well, liking the idea that it helped us pay attention and should be viewed as an improvement. I found myself zoning out when he began to go on about some example of the Founding Fathers of America.

I liked it better when he talked about golf.

Well, Today was rather unpleasant. And it’s all due to the one class i was actually beginning to like. See, I have this history teacher (I clearly won’t be mentioning any names). Let’s pretend his name is Mr. Smith. He’s young, friendly, and very modern. It’s such a nice change from all the dull, disciplinary teachers at my school who are out to get us students in trouble for every little thing we do! “Excuse me, Ms. Saunders! You’re breathing the wrong way! DETENTION!” OK, well, its not that awful, I suppose I was exaggerating a bit. But you get my point, don’t you?

 So moving on, today in history class things seemed as if they would take their  normal course. Robert made his usual moronic comments, Mr. Smith expressed a few short concerns about the class’s unsatisfactory homework, I sat there idly plotting ways to get my newspaper staff to step up and publish a fantastic story (on time for once)…. the usual. Then Mr. Smith put on a projector film, all about the Holocaust, Adolf Hitler, and concentration camps during WWII. My mind was absolutely blown. I almost burst into tears right then and there at the awful pictures of emaciated Jews, the brainwashing done to all of Germany. My teeth clenched around the pen I was chewing on to stop myself from saying something, yelling out, crying…. anything. I think we were all rather shocked at that point, and what made things worse was that Mr. Smith could not answer the most important question of all : How could nobody try to stop the Nazis? Why did mankind let this happen, if only 10% of Germans were in the Nazi Party?! Once the bell rang, the others dispersed but I was still shocked into disbelief. I questioned Mr. Smith further about how such atrocities could have taken place. He didn’t really seem to have an answer for me. Once at lunch, I could barely eat. My boyfriend David, seemingly no longer affected by the film, took all my food and chatted about a stupid football game with the rest of our friends. Even worse, idiot Robert Billings had slept through the entire film. I got fed up with everyone and went to my newspaper office with Amy, who started smoking which she knows is something i absolutely detest. And then my newspaper crew barged in playing some sort of silly joke. How long have these people I surround myself been so shallow? And how come I never noticed before..?

I think today i have given up on all mankind.